Right when I started reading Angela Carter's Nights at the Circus, I loved it. I could not stop reading it. I thought the story and the characters were magical, and I felt like I was part of their world when reading it, which is the effect all of my favourite novels seem to have on me. While I was reading it there were some interesting things I found that made me think deeper than just the plot of the novel. Unfortunately, on the day that I read most of the book, I didn't have a pen or pencil on me, so I ended up bending pages all over the book so I could remember where to flip back later to find these interesting parts.

I found pages 139-142 interesting. These pages have a lot of description and dialogue regarding the clowns.

"The clown my be the source of mirth, but- who shall make the clown laugh?" pg. 140

"we posses one privilege, one rare privilege, that makes our outcast and disregarded state something wonderful, something precious. We can invent our own faces! We make ourselves." -pg.141

The clowns are portrayed in a freaky way. The way they dance around in a creepy, off beat way, how the associate with one another...The fact that they are largely disgruntled, emotionally complex people, who perform in degrading, humiliating ways reflects on the nature and complexity of everyone, at least in some circumstances.

When looking at the clowns, you could say that they act or perform in a certain way to make light of themselves, and to in a sense, please people. The quote from page 140 shows that the clowns job is to please others, to make them laugh. The clown degrades him/herself, disregarding his/her own nature, in an attempt to please others. They are performing. As we talked about in class, this book is largely based on performance, and the clowns are not an exception. Take the quote from page 141, in spite of the mockery of their lives, they can invent their stage faces. They can re-arrange their identity and cover their faces from the world with a mask. The painted face can hide their true emotions, and distract from their misery. They can pretend they are someone who they are not, to please others and escape from their true selves.

This idea of performance and masking true identity, can parallel femininity and the 19th century's restriction of women from the public sphere, and restriction within the private sphere. This brings about the question is the mask and performance empowering, or is it degrading? Is covering up who you are to please other and to fit in to your benefit or your detriment? How much of women's lives in this time were based upon masks and performance?

Women from this time in history were oppressed into their sphere and expected to be hype feminine, and like the clowns, they most likely put on a false facade to please others, and to mask their true identity and feelings. Perhaps a women of this time was naturally athletic or extremely intelligent, but they were told from a young age that these where masculine traits and women were meant to be delicate and subservient, so they hid them behind fancy dresses and the roles of a homemaker. This hypothetical situation can parallel the experience of a clown, because it shows that women often have/had to hide their true selves to fit into the cultural norms and the please those around them.

This idea of performance and masking one's true self is also true in today's world. From women's studies classes I've taken in the past, I've seen that women are still oppressed in the workforce and in public life. Women often try to fit into a man's shoes, thinking that if they act more like a man, they'll get the job, or the promotion. But by trying to act more masculine are they really putting up a mask? Why is femininity not accepted as a means to getting a job/promotion? Is this type of performance (like the clowns) empowering or degrading?

I look forward to discussing the clowns meaning more in class on Tuesday!

Good night.